She Taped Me Without My Knowledge

I am single and in my mid 40s. I have had my share of relationships and am now happily unattached. I moved to a new place a few months back and wanted to back up all of the various images and videos that I own. While sorting through things, I came across some camcorder tapes that were not labelled. I played them on an old camcorder and was shocked to find that they were all recordings of me from about 10 years ago, and obviously I was not aware that I was being recorded.

Around that time I lived with a girlfriend who seemed to have an uncanny sense of knowing things. I often wondered about it, and now the reason is clear. She has moved away and is happily married. I guess when we separated, one of her tapes ended up in my possession. She is on my Facebook feed, but about the only thing we write to each other is "Happy Birthday" twice a year. My question: Should I confront her or just ignore it and cut my losses? The problem with the second course is what happens if there are more tapes.

– Tapes


Well, this is upsetting. Thank goodness it's also old news.

If this discovery involved a more recent relationship and modern technology, I might suggest reaching out to the ex. But in your case, it's best to let it go. This woman is married and far away. She might have more tapes, but if she's the kind of person who recorded you without your knowledge in the first place, is she really going to be honest about what's still in her possession and why?

Drop her from your Facebook feed and go on with your life. Again, it's a horribly troubling discovery, but she's already long gone.

Readers? Should he reach out? Does it matter what the letter writer is doing on those tapes?

– Meredith