She’s stringing me along

Hi Meredith,

I have this confusing situation with a girl I know. We have known each other for four months. We met on a dating site. We went on a few dates and had sex after the fourth date. Two days later, she ends up exclusive with someone else out of nowhere, but we continued to remain good friends.

Her relationship with that guy ended in June. We spent a lot of time together both during their relationship and since; as recently as this past weekend I was a plus-one to wedding she was in. Yet two days after that, she pulls the same stunt again, getting into a relationship with a different guy. I asked her on multiple occasions if she would date me exclusively, and she claimed that while it was easy and convenient to do, she wasn't interested but never fully explained why. I felt strung along by the whole thing, and today she texts me to see how I am as if nothing had happened, which I find too casual for my taste. We hung out two to three times a week the past four months, even when she was dating this other guy back in April and May. We had sex a few other times too. It doesn't make sense to me.

Am I taking this the wrong way? Did I miss something in the process? How would you go forward with something like this? How would you interpret the situation?

– Confused and Hurt


If you're not getting what you want from someone after four months, you should walk away. It's clear that she enjoys your company and that she wants to keep you around for attention and friendship, but you're not in this for a pal. You want to be in a relationship, and she's too casual for your taste, in general.

You say you're confused, but I think the better word is disappointed. She doesn't want what you want, which is a bummer. It doesn't matter why she's not interested in a serious relationship with you. She just isn't.

You're not going to be able to decode her decisions or change her mind by sticking around. Just accept that you want different things and let go.

Readers? Any reason to stick around? What does she want?

– Meredith