I'm a 25-year-old single mom and I can't understand why I can't find love. I've been in three long-term relationships. My first was my ex-husband. Things were good until he became horribly controlling and verbally abusive. But I still loved him, regardless, even when I became pregnant and he wanted me to have an abortion. I wound up having a miscarriage, and not even a month later he was telling his parents to come and get his stuff. I found out later he was seeing someone else.
My next failed attempt was with my son's father. The first year was amazing. I was happy even though we had our disagreements. After my son was born, though, things changed. He became distant and all we did was fight. We would go days without speaking. This went on for about six months and then he too left me for someone else. I was devastated and was single for over a year until I met my last fiancé. He was everything I had ever been looking for — sweet, smart, caring, and a wonderful father to my son. He asked me to marry him in July, then not even a month later he became distant. I never saw him and he always made excuses. Come September he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore and he too left me for someone else. I just don't understand why my significant others keep leaving me for someone else ... like I'm just not good enough. I'm not perfect, but I just want to find someone who won't get going when the going gets tough.
– What am I doing wrong?
Do you know how many 25-year-olds write in because they haven't found love? Ever? The answer is lots. And I tell them that they they're normal. I explain that they must be patient because they're only 25. Not everyone finds a perfect partner in their mid-20s and is married with a kid by 30. Sometimes it takes a bunch of weird dates and short-term relationships before something sticks. It sounds like you're learning that the hard way.
You say your issue is that your partners keep leaving you for other women, but that's not true. Your problem is that you overcommit before you know enough about your significant other. You might have to date someone for years before you know whether they’re a "wonderful father" to your son. You might have to spend more time getting comfortable on your own before you decide to share your life with someone else.
You've already found love three times, so you know it's possible. You just haven't found the right partner, and that's something you can't rush.
Readers? Why are these men leaving her for other women? What about her pace?