I might be dating someone who used to hook up with my friend

We chat at 1 p.m. today.

A few months ago, I began casually hanging out with a former co-worker. Things progressed and we began hooking up once in a while. At first I thought we were "just having fun," but things have progressed.

The problem is, years back, I was informed by another co-worker that the girl I'm now seeing used to hook up with another former co-worker, who happens to be a close friend of mine. Should I confront the woman that I'm now seeing and ask if she did sleep with a friend of mine? Or should I just chalk it up to everyone has a past and this happened before we began dating? I can't lie – this has been in the back of my mind and I am not sure if I need to say something or if I'm better not knowing.

– Confused At Work


You're better off not knowing – or caring. It's none of your business, and you wouldn't gain anything by asking for details. You don't seem to be worried about how your close friend will handle your new relationship. It sounds like you're just curious, which isn't a good reason to start prying into this woman's past.

At some point, if you continue to spend time together, you're going to hear about her life on her terms. Respect that boundary and be patient.

Also know that if she had been an important part of your friend's life, you would have heard about it. Your close friend hasn't brought it up, which means the hookup wasn't a big deal – or it didn't happen.

Readers? Didn't this sort of happen in "Office Space"? Should he ask about the rumor?

– Meredith