Too soon to move in?

The end of this summer will be the one-year mark with my boyfriend. We had some rough times (mostly my doing) early on, but the last five-plus months or so have been great. I really love him, and I know he feels the same for me. We both graduated in May and have been living together for the summer because of weird leasing/housing situations. So far things have been great. Sharing the same space with the person you love really makes things feel more real, and I think it has been very good for us. During the school year I was at his place most nights of the week (five or more), but actually sharing an apartment is much different, and so far I have no major complaints.

My problem is about what comes in September. My boyfriend just signed a lease on an apartment, and we have had talks about moving in together. While this makes sense for many reasons, I am also a little hesitant and could use some advice. On one hand, this makes all sorts of practical and financial sense. Living together this summer has gone well, and I know we are both enjoying the experience and the added meaning it has brought to our relationship. Sharing an apartment would also be a huge financial relief for both of us. The extra few hundred a month we'd save on rent could be put to great use paying back student loans, settling into the real world, etc. We are both 22, which by some standards is young for this sort of move, but I feel like our relationship is serious enough for for this option to be work. Also, not that it changes anything, but we're both dudes. Just for context.

My only hang up is that I do not want to rush into things too soon. I feel like living together is a very large step in a relationship and that one year together might not be enough. I feel comfortable with what we have right now, but making that sort of huge commitment is scary for me. I also do not want to be foolish and blinded by the convenience and financial benefits of moving in together. Is one year enough time to move in together? Am I being blinded by the financial side of this? I know there is no "right answer," but there must be some general consensus here. Thanks!

– Moving in


Get your own apartment and see what happens over the next year. You said it best: You shouldn't let finances rule this decision.

If you become desperate to live with your boyfriend after a few months of living apart, you can always look for someone to take over your lease. It's a bit of a hassle, but you're allowed to change your mind.

It sounds like you're in a great relationship, and that living in separate places will only make this decision easier next year. So why not take your time? It's nice to feel confident when you make a big move. You might as well wait until you're sure.

Readers? Move in or wait? Is a year long enough?

– Meredith