Should she pop the question on Saturday? Let's help her out.
I’ve never really been a shy girl. If I liked a guy, he would know it. If I wanted to go out with him, I would ask him out on a date. It’s just the type of girl I am.
At 20 years old I was in a short relationship that resulted in me having my son, who is now 3 years old. So I find it even more important to be up front about my life and what I want in a man.
For the past year I have been dating a man who has been an amazing match for my son and I. He’s been living with us and although we’ve run into some bumps along the road, I remain happy and secure in the life we have with each other.
Because I’ve had to grow up a little faster than most 23 year olds I know, I feel like I am ready to settle down with someone. I want more stability for us and I feel like I’ve found the right guy (he’s 25 years old, if that matters).
This is the first time in my life I’ve actually been nervous about telling a guy what I want. I want to ask him to marry me and I don’t even know where to begin. Valentine’s Day is around the corner and I thought that would be my opportunity to do so, but now I’m not so sure. Is it too up front for me to ask him to marry me? Should I wait a little longer? Do guys get engagement rings? Lol
-- Newly Nervous, Roslindale
1. I don’t believe in “too up front.” And it sounds like you don’t either. Good for you.
2. I've heard that guys like engagement televisions or engagement vacations, but if you want to spring for a ring, go for it -- especially if he's into jewelry.
3. Should you wait longer? Sounds like you don’t want to. Go with your gut.
4. Even if he’s not ready for this (a year isn’t very long, especially at 25), your proposal can start the marriage discussion. Don’t be too upset if he needs time to process your request. We all love romance, but making a lifetime commitment to a woman and her child should take some thought.
5. Please let us know how it goes. I'd like a full report by e-mail on Monday.
Readers? Agree? Ideas for Newly Nervous? Share here. You can comment on yesterday's letter here. And -- submit your own letter here.-- Meredith
Speaking of Love
"I love you, in a really, really big pretend-to-like-your-taste-in-music, let-you-eat-the-last-piece-of-cheesecake, hold-a-radio-over-my-head-outside-your-window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you."
— Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy