Sorry for the late posting. This guy can't let go. I get it. But help him, please.
My wife and I have been married for almost 41 years. When she was 22, she had a very brief affair with her boss, a dentist, following the birth of our first child. I was in college. They were involved in a year long emotional affair while she was pregnant. She confessed to me eight years later. She said that he had been pushing her for sex for a couple of years but she resisted but he finally wore her down and he got to her about six weeks after she returned to work from pregnancy leave. We were not having any problems and were enjoying a full social and sexual relationship during the entire time. Still are! She maintains she does not know why she did it other than her hormones were going crazy and she had a lot of respect for his skills as a dentist and he was her mentor. He was ten years her senior and his wife was pregnant at the same time as he was pursuing my pregnant wife. After a couple of trips to the motel, he broke it off and she got really pissed off at him because she said that after all he did to get her to have the affair that he backed out. Her plan was to end the affair when I graduated and left town a few months later. She maintains she was still very much in love with me and had no problems with our marriage so my question is this.... WHY would a happily married, conservative wife with a new baby risk everything to hop in the sack with her boss. My wife has never been able to tell me WHY. Is she telling me the truth or is she holding something back? She has always been a mailable person when it comes to dominant men. BTW, she told me all the details and without her knowledge, I called the doc and he confirmed what she had told me. Plus, he apologized. Any ladies out there who can tell me WHY? -- Bob, Virginia Beach
Bob, you're asking why? I'm asking the same question. Because she was young (only 22)? Because she was thoughtless? Because, as she says, her hormones were out of whack? Who knows? My question is -- can you forgive her and stop asking why? You've been married more than 40 years. It sounds like there's real love in your relationship. This one's a riddle that has no specific answer. She probably doesn't know either. If I had to guess, I'd say it was age. Learn to stop asking why. The answer is: Because. That's the best I can do. Which leaves you with a marriage that has lasted 40some years. Pretty amazing, right? Readers? Can you do better? Why is Bob still fixated? Tell him how to deal with his question here. Submit a letter to the right. -- Meredith