How do I get into the dating world? I'm pushing 40 and never really dated. I'm probably too scared to date at this point in my life and too embarrassed to tell anyone that I"ve never really dated anyone or had any kind of relationship.
The last time I actually dated a guy, I was in college - a summer fling, really. There have been guys I've been interested in but they have never been interested in me. And guys just don't seem interested in me. A bit on the overweight side, but I am active in many activities And I have many friends. I tried online dating once but never got any interest and got frustrated and gave up and don't see much sense in going back.
Over the years, I've had different priorities (making friends since I'm not originally from here, job, etc). Now I'd like to see what this dating world is like and maybe find that someone special. But I get tired of people (usually married) saying oh .. you'll find someone . There's someone for everyone. Well, I haven't found anyone - just to date.
Is there any hope for someone like me? To find someone .. anyone at this point.
Oh, Hopeless. It's never too late. And I'm sure many readers would agree that it's not easy to meet people.
That said, I do find it odd that you haven't met anyone online or in real life since college.
My advice? Stop being embarrassed about your drought and start soliciting help. Tell your friends you want romance and ask them for guidance. Tell them to be honest with you -- even if it means hearing real criticisms. Your friends are the best way to find out whether you're giving off the wrong vibes, whether you always smell of lunch meat, or whether there's something you do that makes people think you don't want to date. These friends can also look over your online dating profile and tell you how you're marketing yourself. You need lots of dates. Online sites are the easiest way to find them.
They made a whole movie about this starring Steve Carell. In the end, he gets sex. And love. And great friends. Just because he's finally honest about his needs. That could be you.
Readers? Can you give Hopeless some help? Share your thoughts here.
Also, get ready to chat at 1.
Speaking of Love
"He looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man."
— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
CAN’T HELP MYSELF is Meredith’s memoir about giving advice, learning from readers, working with an ex, and moms and daughters. It’s also a story about how an online community can become another kind of family.