‘Presenting the First One’

Why am I running this letter, you ask? Because I know people who hide this stuff from their significant others. They run to hotel lobby bathrooms during romantic vacations or wait until they get home to find relief.

And maybe because after yesterday's heavy letter, I wanted to take it easy on/mess with our VIP Love Letters helper, Kelyn Rowe of the New England Revolution. He liked this question.

Hey Meredith,

I have been with my girlfriend for a little over a year but we have been friends long before we started dating. We have a great relationship, we never fight, we trust each other, and I can see myself being with her for a while. The only problem is the buildup of gas I decide to hold back every time I am with her.

Is it too late to let the first one go since we have been dating for over a year? I'm sure I've blown a couple her way while I was passed out, though I pray that she was passed out too. How do I present the first one? Do I do it when we are drunk so we can just laugh about it? Do I have her pull my finger? Do I ask her if we can both do it at the same time? Do I light a match and try to do the flame thrower thing to try to impress her? Help.

– Bloated and Afraid

There is no "presenting the first one." The first one has already been presented, I assure you. These things happen while we're asleep.

If you're really uncomfortable and must deal with this while you're awake, don’t make it a big funny thing. And don't get too comfortable. You're not supposed to do this in front of her all the time. You're supposed to spare your loved ones if you can.
My advice? Just say, "My stomach feels weird." That’s code for: "We have entered a new phase in our relationship where we might start talking about unpleasant things such as our weird health problems and bathroom topics."

I assure you, she knows the code. Use it and relax.

Readers? How long did it take you to get comfortable dealing with this stuff in front of a partner? Should he make a joke of this? Why must this be so awkward?

– Meredith