Holiday Updates

We'll take tomorrow off for the holiday. Today we have updates from former letter writers. If you're a former letter writer and would still like to tell us how it all worked out, email me at meregoldstein at gmail.com. 

Also: I'll be moderating the Q&A with Aziz Ansari at the Sanders Theatre next Friday, and I have four extra tickets. If you would like a pair, head to the @LoveLettersBlog twitter account. Tweet your definition of modern romance using the hashtag #LLModRomance; the two best entries will get tickets, which come with Ansari's book. Entries are due by the end of Wednesday (7/8). The event is for Ansari's book "Modern Romance," co-written by sociologist Eric Klinenberg, so it should be quite amusing and interesting.

Our first update is from a woman who was on ring watch. And now she's not so much.

Hi Meredith,

I wrote in last August about wanting marriage, and my differences with my long-term boyfriend Dave on the subject. After reading many different opinions, I heeded your advice to figure out why this was so important to me. I started talking to a therapist and realized that I was just scared of losing a good thing and feeling the pressure from everyone around us, and thinking that getting married equals being a better couple. After realizing this, I sat down with Dave and told him how I felt and what I wanted for the future. He stated that he wants to build a life with me and that his focus is us. We talked marriage, which is something he ultimately wants (he just wants to save money and get a house first which is why it isn't his main priority right now), and we both agreed to let life happen naturally rather than let others dictate how we live our lives. We are happy, and even with multiple weddings this year, I realized having a good partner is worth more than worrying about getting to the altar right now. If it happens it happens, if not then its ok too.

BTW, I have told people that it's none of their business and the questioning has calmed down. Thanks for all the help!

The next update is from someone who had been asked to travel.

Hi Meredith,

It's been three years since I last wrote and my life has changed so much. I ended up quitting my job and going off on the South America trip. We had a wonderful time. It was such an amazing experience, one that I'll never forget and definitely never regret. After the trip, he ended up moving to NYC. We dated long-distance for another year before he asked me to move in with him. I was nervous about leaving Boston, my family, friends all over again. Still I went through with it and we moved in together. It was hard at first - I missed home a lot and NYC is not the friendliest of cities to be when you know no one. I stuck it out though and am thrilled I did. In October, he asked me to marry him. We'll be married this October in Boston, surrounded by our families and friends from NYC and Boston. Life is funny and beautiful and I can't wait to see what else he and I have in store for us. A big thanks to the Love Letters community and you for giving me the push I needed to just go for it. For that, I will always be thankful.

Our last update is from someone who needed to let go of the past.

Hi Meredith,

Thought you might like an update almost five years later!

I think I am one of the luckiest people I know. Somehow the new boyfriend stuck it out with me. He was patient, I was honest, and we worked through things together, building some awesome communication skills and a solid relationship in the process.

We spent two years dating long distance, and I kept in increasingly sporadic touch with my ex. When new boyfriend and I moved in together I decided it was no longer appropriate to have interaction with the ex. I couldn't imagine sitting next to new boyfriend on the couch in our shared apartment and getting a text from the ex, and I would have felt like I was sneaking around behind his back if I only contacted the ex when new boyfriend wasn't around. The ex texted a few times but when I never responded he thankfully got the hint.

That was over three years ago, and this past year new boyfriend and I were married surrounded by absolutely insane amounts of love and fun. So a huge THANK YOU to you and the commenters for calling me on my behavior. Everyone who said I should let him go so he could be with someone who would appreciate him - as much as it stung, it helped ME appreciate him.

I can finally stop skipping over "Gravity" in iTunes, and instead had Sara Bareilles' "I Choose You" as part of our wedding ceremony.

"Tell the world that we finally got it all right"

Thanks everybody. Have a good 4th. - Meredith