He’s back with his ex

I met a wonderful man on Tinder. Yes, Tinder. We went on three dates, nothing physical. Traditional dates. I got so busy at work and with the holidays that we lost contact. Totally my fault and something I am working on.

I randomly reached out to him in the beginning of the year to see if he was available for lunch, seeing I was in his area ... and of course by then he was in a relationship. They were living together and her very young son from a previous relationship. We remained in contact throughout the summer. Our conversations were always rehashing the could have, would have, should have of where we went wrong. Fast forward to now, and he contacted me to tell me he was single again and that we should get together. We did, and things were going well for a few more dates, and we ended up sleeping together. It was incredible. He acknowledged our connection and that things would be different had I not faded to black a year ago.

We had plans for the weekend, but then I get a call from him saying that this woman and her child were moving back in. He played it off like I knew his situation and had been warned not to get attached. He still keeps in contact with me, sending me "thinking of you" messages.

I'm torn. I know I should walk away and not look back. I was played. A part of me thinks that I need to wait it out and see where his relationship goes (or doesn't go). Then the other part of me is screaming that I should run as fast as I can. I just can't shake the connection we have. Do I fade to black or am I being naive to think there could be another chance? I'm ready for the harsh comments. I know I need a slap of reality. I'm 39 years old and acting like a teenager with a major crush waiting in the wings.

– Lady in Waiting


"I met a wonderful man on Tinder."  No you didn't.

Your timeline is confusing, but it sounds like this man misrepresented his relationship status and texted you flirty messages while he was supposed to be committed to someone else. You don't need that in your life. If your connection was so great, you'd be together.

You seem to think that this is your fault — that if you had been more available when you met, you and this man would be blissfully in love. But your current relationship status has nothing to do with your hectic schedule. It's all on him now.

You say that a part of you "is screaming that I should run as fast as I can." That part is your gut. Please listen to it. Don't bring this guy into 2016. Anyone who sends "thinking of you" messages while they're living with someone else is not worth your time.

Readers? What is she waiting for?

– Meredith