Dear Ms. Meredith and LL Sages,
Five years ago, I met a sweet man from an online dating site. We spent time in a long-distance relationship, chatting for hours with calls and videos. He is a sweet man and VERY generous. He loves me and my family. After four years of being in a long-distance relationship, he decided to pay a visit to my country and meet my family, and spent time with us for a week. I can say that everyone really liked his generosity and sweetness. They did have concerns about his nationality and religion. (I guess I was too young to worry about these things before.) We decided to move together where he lives and works. Nothing has changed with his behavior except for one thing – he is a workaholic and isn't as attentive as before. I do not enjoy being around him as much as I thought I would, maybe because he's too conservative and stiff. We've been living together for five months and I'm dying to go back home.
More recently, I met another man from work. He's from England. He is more than a decade older older, but I find him really fun. The age gap has never been an issue. I know that getting into a relationship with another man while you are still in a relationship is wrong, but being with him makes me feel so confident and carefree that I feel like I can do all things when I am with him. Now my real problem is this: I'm torn between two people. This first man is asking me to marry him and introduces me to his family and friends, who welcome me with open arms. I'm overwhelmed and still feel dissatisfied. Meanwhile, this British man is now asking me to move to England with him. I'm so confused. I don't want to hurt anyone. Please tell me what to do.
– Confused Heart
Break up with Man No. 1 and move home. You're deeply unsatisfied and desperate to get out of this living situation. End it now, before marriage is really on the table.
Notice I told you to move home, not to England. You shouldn't be going anywhere with Man No. 2. You're allowed to visit him after you set up a life for yourself back home, but you can't use him as a way out. That's no way to start a relationship.
You said it best – you're so confused. The only way to get clarity is to give yourself some space. Just you. No boyfriends.
Readers? Should she stay? Move? Go back to her family? What can she learn from this experience?