Announcing a Love Letters night with Boston Ballet ...
I am a college student and still with my boyfriend from high school. We've been together for three years now. We are in a long-distance relationship, which has been pretty hard, but worth it in the long run. Everything is generally good; we have our weekly Skype dates, phone calls, and planned meeting times. However, he has recently joined a frat and is super into partying and drinking. And while I also enjoy the occasional party and drink, I'm not super into it. I feel like I'm crazy for feeling this way, but I can't help feeling annoyed and jealous when he goes out all night and drinks with his friends.
I trust him more than anything and know he would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it makes me sort of upset with him, and the last thing I want is to provoke a fight. Are these feelings normal? I don't want him to sacrifice time with his friends, as the weekend is really the only time he has. (He's in an honors program, plays a sport, and works part time). But I can't seem to get over this agitation. Any advice is greatly welcomed.
"... I can't help feeling annoyed and jealous when he goes out all night and drinks with his friends."
Are you really jealous? Or are you worried he's evolving into someone you wouldn't want to date? It sounds like that might be the real concern, that if you were at the same school and standing right next to each other, you wouldn't want the same things.
Your best bet is to see his world up close so that you stop yourself from making any assumptions about his social life. Travel to see him during the weekend of a big frat party. Spend some time with his new friends. It's a way for you to connect to his world – and to avoid jumping to conclusions about it.
Also know that no matter how much you learn to accept his college experience, you will always feel a little left out. It's natural to get upset when you're no longer part of the story. Being in a long-distance relationship means learning how to deal with your own absence and how to have memorable experiences during the moments you're together.
Readers? How can she get over his frat life? Is this just about the distance? Or is it about the drinking?