Our relationship is … mellow

I've been dating the kindest, most thoughtful man for about four months now (I'm 26, he's 28). He makes me feel happy and calm and really goes out of his way to improve my life. However, lately I've been feeling unsettled about our future due to the fact that I don't think I've fully fallen for him yet. Should this have happened by now? I care about him an awful lot and look forward to spending time with him/am attracted to him, etc., but it feels like something may be missing.

This could be because I'm more used to the chase and men who are far less transparent and forthcoming with their feelings than my current guy. There are no real problems aside from the fact that our relationship feels more comfortable and mellow than passionate/exciting. My main concern is that I know he sees this relationship becoming more serious, and I don't want to waste his time if the whole "you'll just know" cliché doesn't apply (several friends insist that they were very sure about their spouse/fiancé/serious significant others within the first couple months of dating). Do I give it more time to progress?

– Indecisive by nature


Give it some more time. No one has asked you for a final answer.

My guess is that in another few months (or less), you'll be antsy to move on, or you'll have experienced something exciting, beyond the mellow. Maybe you'll get to see what this guy is like when he's stressed. Maybe you'll find that he's great around your family and friends. It sounds like you haven't had the opportunity to fall for him – or to see what he's like when things aren't easy.

Stop thinking about the rest of your life and focus on this week. Try to relax and enjoy his company. And please, don't assume that he wants to marry you. No matter how committed he seems, he's still getting to know you, too.

– Meredith

Readers? Should she end it? Will she come to a decision over time? Are her friends right?