It’s hard to date a truck driver

I was in a relationship for three months with a man I met online. He is a truck driver.

The moment we met, I felt something so special. It might sound stupid but it was real love at first sight. The first week we were dating, I went back to my dating account so I could delete it and saw that he was still online. I asked him why he was still using it, because he told me he had deleted it after our first date. (That wasn't true, obviously.) Anyway, I guess I developed a trust issue after that, and our relationship ended one night when I texted him and he took hours to reply (I hear stories about truck drivers). When he finally replied, he said he had been with his friends. I asked him if he was with another woman. He told me I was trying to control him and that I was too jealous. We didn't talk for about five months, but then got back together. We both said we hadn't been with anyone else during the time we were separated.

After another two months, we argued again for a similar reason and he ended it. I know I'm a mess and that I make it hard for both of us, but I wish he didn't give up so fast. He says I'm crazy and that he will never understand me. I know I can be insecure because of past experiences ... I wrote him a long message and he never replied. I feel guilty but at the same time so disappointed. I don't know what to do. I won't beg, but it hurts so much that he did't try to prove that he's trustworthy, and instead decided that we have no future. My insecurities are tied to his being a truck driver and us not getting to spend time together. I never complained about him not being around – all I wanted was for him to fight for us. Did I mess up or am I just blaming myself because I don't want to accept the fact that he doesn't care enough? Please give me some advice on what to do to not feel so miserable and stupid. I'm not going to try to talk to him since I was the last person to send a message.

– Not on the road

You should not be dating a truck driver. You should also avoid dating a pilot or a traveling professional athlete. You like your partners to be around. Now you know that about yourself.

Your best bet is to start this recovery process by admitting that this was not long-term love, and that you jumped into a relationship before anyone was ready. You expected him to quit a dating website after one date. You expected immediate text responses from someone who spends most of his time driving (he should not be reading your texts while he's on the road). Please spend some time thinking about your needs, and why your gut had you in a constant panic.

Also know that breakups don't have to be about placing blame. Usually, they're just about incompatibility. Misery and disappointment are part of the experience, but feeling stupid doesn't help. Instead of punishing yourself, do some brainstorming about what kind of relationship would put you at ease.

– Meredith

Readers? What happened here? How can she move on?