I've been dealing with so much hurt and guilt because of what I did to an amazing man. One day we got into an argument and I ended things with him and left. He looked for me, but I wouldn't budge. A few days went by, I was at a bar and had one too many drinks, and ended up having sex with one of his best friends. I felt horrible the next day, but held it in for a few days before I told my ex what I did. He was heartbroken. However, he tried to forgive me and we were together again, but then he tells me he cannot do this anymore because he can't get past what I did.
About four months have gone by, and I still cry often knowing how much pain I caused him. I did everything thing in the book to try to earn his forgiveness. Now I've simply given him the space needs. He was perfect and I didn't realize what I had because of my previous abusive relationships. This guy brought out the best in me. We talk here and there asking how we are, but it doesn't go anywhere. I wonder if there is any hope left. It breaks my heart.
– Made a Mistake
Well, this is awful. But here's one thing to know: He wasn't perfect. You had a big fight for a reason. Something bad happened, and you were ready to walk away.
Now it's time to head to therapy so you can learn to forgive yourself. With a professional, you can talk all about those past relationships and about what was going through your head (if anything) when you slept with your boyfriend's friend. Instead of focusing on hope, you can work to understand your motives so that this never happens again.
I have no idea whether he'll get over this and return to the relationship, but you should do the work either way. If you want to be healthy with someone else, it's important to be able to bring out the best in yourself.
Readers? How can she fix this?