We just moved in together and he’s texting another woman

I can't decide what we'll do on Monday's holiday. But in the meantime, we're trying some Facebook live stuff on the Love Letters Facebook page.

Hi there,

So I have been dating my current boyfriend for over a year now, but half that time he was deployed with the Air Force. Recently, I have been having questions about how committed he is to me. I have found him texting another girl. (He wasn't trying very hard to hide it, as he was texting her while I was there.) To complicate things even more, we have recently moved in together. I confronted him about it and at first he lied, saying I saw it wrong. Then he admitted he was texting her but that he knows it was a mistake, and that he's never met her. (The texts, however showed that they had met.) I'm not sure what to believe.

The problem I am having is that he will not tell me how he met her, who she is, or how long they've been talking. Is it crazy of me to want to know the details? Or should I drop it and try to trust him? Or move on all together since I did catch him lying and possibly cheating? I am just looking for some direction on what to do next. I know "love is blind," so please help me see if I am being blinded by his lies.

– Is love blind?


It sounds like a very good time to find new housing. You don't want to live with someone you don't trust, and there's nothing in your letter that suggests you guys are ready for this kind of commitment.

You also probably want to break up, mainly because he's hiding so much. We're all allowed to keep secrets, even when we're coupled, but not like this. You have every right to know why he's texting this woman and where she came from. You're trying to get over his deceit, and all he's doing is adding to your list of questions and concerns. If you can't have honest conversations about the relationship, how will it ever work?

If the breakup is too overwhelming right now, focus on the housing. This is not the living situation you signed up for.

– Meredith

Readers? Can she ask for information about the other woman? Should they break up?