Choosing between work wives

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Hi Meredith,

I'll start off by acknowledging that this one is fairly out there when compared to the letters you normally have in your column. But I figure it's worth a shot writing in anyway. Here's my situation: I have two work wives, and I don't know which one to pursue for a real relationship.

To further complicate things, they have a very strained relationship and bicker a lot, so I'm relatively sure that if I pursue one of them, the other will take it as a slight and distance herself from us. A little more about the two women in question: Candidate A tends to kind of act like a princess sometimes. We have a great back and forth, and she would keep me in check if we dated, seeing as she's always the first to let me know when I do something wrong. Candidate B is much more level-headed than Candidate A. She's a runner, which I think speaks to a level of mental endurance that would be required in order to date someone like me (I'll admit to not being the easiest person to get along with from time to time). But then again, having running as a hobby doesn't really seem all that creative.

Anyway, I guess my problem is that I have two women I can pursue, who are very different from each other, and I don't know how to choose. What's my best option here? Coin toss?

– Which wife

I have a feeling that if these women read your letter, they would not want to date you. Read it to yourself and think about how you reduced your "work wives" to a few adjectives and a judgement. You called one of them a princess and criticized the other's hobby. (For the record, I think running can be very creative. Talk to some runners.)

My point is that if you're feeling 50-50 about these women, you should probably opt out of the decision. You don't sound compelled to be with either of them. You told us nothing about what makes them unique; you're only concerned (in this letter, at least) about how they respond to you. I mean, coin toss? Really?

The world is bigger than your office. Go find someone who humbles you and makes you feel like you'd rather have her than anyone else.

– Meredith

Readers? Is this really a choice?