Can you date on a break?

I have been talking to this guy for more than a week, and I found out that he is on a "break" from his girlfriend. My friend and I did some digging around on Facebook and found out that he seems to be very hung up on her. His Facebook has many photos with her, and even says they are still together. Her profile, on the other hand, doesn't have any mention of him at all.

We have been talking a lot and hung out this past Saturday all day. Every day we talk 24/7 while the both of us are awake. He tells me that I am adorable, cute, all the words a girl wants to hear. When I confronted him about this "break," he told me he is confused about it himself. While digging around online, my friend and I found something that said that if you are on a true break, you shouldn't be "testing the waters" with someone new.

Based on the profiles, we are guessing that the break is something that she wanted. She is still in high school back home, while he is in college over an hour away. He and I are about 25 minutes apart, if that matters. We clicked as soon as we met. Finding out that he is currently on a break has me worried, but at the same time I am starting to think I really like him. I am just looking for some advice about what I should do.

– About a Break


There are no rules for breaks. Some people date while they're on them, some people don't. I don't know whether your guy is capable of falling for someone new while taking space from someone else.

I will say that people coming out of big relationships (including those who are still in them) can make the mistake of transferring their intense feelings to someone new, sometimes too quickly. The fact that he wants to talk to you 24/7 is a concern. It says more about his needs – his fear of being alone – than how you're actually getting along.

If you felt casual about this guy, you could go on dates without much on the line. But if you're already feeling like a replacement girlfriend – and you've decided that's what you want – it might be best to take your own space until he's single. Let him know that he has to figure out his relationship status before he can have a real relationship with you.

– Meredith

Readers? Date on a break?