I don’t plan to be intimidated …

I recently saw an online profile. The woman said she was looking for a man who isn't intimidated by her success. As a man, I am confused, and have no idea what that means. Does she want a man who is equally or more successful? Does she want a female-led relationship?

I've always seen relationships as a dance. Sometimes I lead, sometimes she leads. Being successful, for me, does not mean being intimidating, unless you make it so. There are successful men who are not intimidating. It's a choice.

Can you explain?

(As I start partner dancing socially, I noticed that the more successful a woman is, the less she wants to follow.)

– The Dance


I've heard this a lot. "He was intimidated by me." "I don't want a partner who's easily intimidated." It can mean many things. I wouldn't want to generalize.

I do think that for many women, it's about wanting someone who'll value their experience and treat them like an equal. You might assume that's what everyone wants, but it's not. Some people prefer to the the one who knows best.

If you meet a woman who talks about intimidation, your best bet is to ask her to be more specific about who should lead and when. You'll learn about her expectations, her history, and whether she'd make a good partner for dancing – or life.

– Meredith

Readers? Have you said/heard this? What did it mean?