Kissed the Married Man at Work

There is a married man at work who's very smooth and secure. He has this crazy charisma. The other night, we were all out and quite drunk. I basically told him that I liked him, but that I also respect the fact that he is married. He told me he felt the same way. We kissed at the end of the night.

The very next day I apologized to him and told him that we should not speak of that night again and just forget it. I know it was wrong; I'm not proud of it. Days later, I was out with one of my other co-workers and she mentioned that he has messaged her and told her that if he wasn't married, he would be interested in her. She got that message the very same night he and I were out.

Obviously I'm pretty annoyed. 1. He is married and always says he is so in love with his wife. 2. He flirts with two colleagues at the same time. 3. He has stopped including me in some hangout groups.

After learning that he'd messaged my friend, I'd really had enough and told him that if he were happily married, he wouldn't message me or my colleague. Then I blocked his number and told him that from now on, "I'm just your colleague and don't bother me." The issue is that I really don't want to talk to him now. How do I interact with him without it being obvious that I'm angry at him?

– Annoyed


If you were capable of going back to work and ignoring your romantic feelings for this man, you should also be able to compartmentalize your anger. Try to get through the day and focus on your tasks like a professional. If you feel like you need to scream, go to the bathroom or take a walk. Really, this can't be the first time you've had to play nice with someone you don't want to be around.

You should also force yourself to think about why you're so angry. You weren't that upset when this man was willing to betray his marriage to pursue a crush on you. You were flattered and maybe a little bit excited. The anger came into play when you felt left out and rejected. You're upset because you thought you had a meaningful night with this guy, but meanwhile, he was multi-tasking.

Try to let go of the jealousy and rejection and focus on the fact that he was never available to you anyway. Go to work. Be civil. Keep the number blocked.

– Meredith

Readers? How should she behave at work?