Love Letters Holiday Updates
Good morning. It's time for Love Letters updates.
First, a note from someone who fell for the drummer.
I just thought you should know what happened with me and the “drummer." We did get back together, and we've been together for a few years now. You can't get them all right, I guess. Anyway, it feels really good to read all those snarky comments and know I was right, in the end. Thanks!
Now an update from a recent letter writer who was getting texts.
I am happy with the "Flower Guy," and the same week you posted my letter, I was on a great date with him and posted a few pics on Facebook. I didn't say that I was on a date, but it was probably clear. The ex decides to text right in the middle of my date asking where I was. Really. I was on a date and happy! What a jerk! Let the readers know that I needed the kick in the pants, and that I am happily dating my sweet Flower Guy and will never accept any more texts from my Ex.
Here's an update from someone who was thinking about the kids.
When I wrote to LL I was at a crossroads; end my marriage or hang in there for the sake of the kids. I had a boyfriend and I felt it was finally time to end the marriage because really, why stay married if you have already moved on emotionally? When you put your dilemma into words and let hundreds of people read it and offer feedback, you better have a strong backbone. I was stunned by the reactions. It was a very judgmental crowd.
Within a few months, my husband and I agreed to get divorced and we told the kids. They were shocked and angry. I credit my husband for being an incredibly kind and good man. We have talked as a couple and made decisions carefully about who moves out, who keeps the house. The kids have had time to adjust and let their thoughts be heard. It's not fun but they see two parents who love them and put them first. The divorce will be final soon. I hope my soon-to-be ex finds someone wonderful because he deserves it.
The boyfriend is still in my life. We are solid in our commitment to each other. My children have met him slowly on their terms. We are taking everything slowly because we know we have shaken up their world(s). But we see a life together down the road. For now it's weekly dates and some activities with the kids. I look back to the day I wrote to LL when I was in such turmoil. I can't say it was the best thing I ever did, but it was a wake-up call and helped me "get real." So thanks.
The last update is from a letter writer who had been a virgin.
I wrote to you over two years ago wondering how to tell my boyfriend that he was the first person I'd had sex with. I was so embarrassed about being a virgin until my mid-20s, and my worries were casting a shadow over an otherwise wonderful relationship. Thank you so much for your advice and the advice from the comments. The consensus was that I was making a big deal out of something not so important. That perspective was not what I was expecting – but a huge sigh of relief. I resolved to stop worrying about my lack of a sexual past and instead focus on enjoying the relationship. Long story short, we're engaged!
I never did sit him down and have "the talk." He's never asked, although he knows he's my only serious long-term relationship. After all this time it really doesn't feel important. I love him, we're both very happy with our sex life, and over time my confidence has grown exponentially. Thank you!
That's all for today. Thank you for reading and advising these letter writers.
Speaking of Love
"The Brooklyn botanical gardens -- we slow-dance, sipping Prosecco under the stars. Just kidding. No date, please just come over! I'm already kind of drunk." — Amy Schumer in 2013 on her ideal first date