Too soon to move in together?

Hi Meredith,

You likely get this question all the time, but I thought I'd ask anyway. I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 31. We've been dating for around eight months now and plan on moving in together when his lease is up (two-ish months from now). However we found this GREAT place and are talking about just paying double rent for two months so we can snag it.

I've never felt like this about anyone in my life; I've absolutely fallen head-over-heels in love. I just have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that we're moving too fast. I'm not sure if it's well-founded or if it's because I've been hurt in the past.

To add a complication, we are co-workers, but our work doesn't overlap because we're in different departments. The attraction was instant and I can't get enough of him and can't wait to spend every minute with him. Do you think I'm just getting cold feet? Thanks!

– Cold Feet


It sounds like you want some sort of guarantee that everything will be just as perfect once you move in together. I can't give you that, but I can tell you that that finding a great place can make a move-in easier. If you think you've found an apartment that will be comfortable for both of you – and you know you're going to move in together in two months anyway – you might as well jump on the property.

The great thing about this option is that it gives you a short-term backup. If it turns out that moving in together was a horrible mistake, you'll still have a second place.

Really, though, I think that this nagging feeling is normal, and that it represents the nervousness that comes with making a change to an excellent relationship. You want this, but you don't want to mess with what works. Waiting two months won't make that fear go away. You might as well deal with it in a great living space.

– Meredith

Readers? Too soon? Would two months make a difference?