My future fiancee, whom I met at work about five years ago, doesn't want me having lunch with male coworkers. He knew before we were a couple that I had lunch with male coworkers and he didn't have any problem with it. Two years later it has become an issue for him, and he wants me to stop.
We eat our lunches on the job site in public view. I always tell him when I eat lunch with them. I've worked the same job with with these coworkers for over a decade. I can't make my boyfriend understand that we are like a family, that they have wives and girlfriends. He wants to start having lunch with women, he says, so that I know what it feels like. He also knows and works with the same people I work with. It has become a constant fight because I refuse to stop. Am I wrong? What should I do?
You are not wrong at all.
There is no reason to feel guilty about enjoying and maintaining great friendships. There is also no reason to stop yourself from making new friends as you get older.
You need to think about whether you can be married to someone who is this controlling and distrustful. He's trying to limit your life – to make it small enough for him to watch over at all times – but that's not how you want to live in the world.
If you agree to the "no lunching with men" rule, what comes next? What other boundaries will he set to serve his own needs?
He should want to marry you – the real you – a person who loves and enjoys her friends. If that doesn't appeal to him, this is not a match.
Readers? Should she accept this rule?