I’m annoying him

We're off tomorrow and will return Wednesday. Enjoy the holiday.

Hi Meredith,

I met this guy online and we have been talking for a while. Our conversations were fun, funny, and flirty. At first I ignored him because he wasn't really my type, but he was persistent and kept talking to me so I decided to give it a try.

I started to like him more than I should, and I kept checking my phone to see if he'd responded to my messages. We mostly use Snapchat.

Then we had a talk last week. You see, I get pretty obsessive when I like someone. I overthink stuff and get really impatient when they don't respond immediately. He told me that my impatience was getting annoying and that I should relax. I said I understood, and he responded by thanking me. Then I accidentally sent him a message that was supposed to be for my friend. The message was about our "relationship" and how I had annoyed him. He messaged me by saying it's fine and just relax.

That's when I felt that he started to keep his distance from me. We still talk but not as much. I’m trying really hard to give him space and reply to his messages by not being too excited. But that also makes it look like I don't find him interesting anymore. What should I do?

– Annoying


"... that also makes it look like I don't find him interesting anymore."

Trust me, he knows you you're interested. You've made that very clear.

You need to get to a place where you can date someone – anyone – without needing to hear from them several times a day, or even once a day. You could benefit from some forced phone breaks. Set some boundaries for yourself, and whenever you think about sending a message, ask yourself what you need to say. (Hint: If there's no real message in your message, don't send it.)

Also spend some time focusing on how your relationships work in person. You never mentioned hanging out with this guy. Phone calls and texts (and snaps) are supposed to supplement the real thing. If this person doesn't make an effort to see you – to really be with you – you should move on.

– Meredith

Readers? How can she change this behavior?