I dated a guy for months, and then he decided to break up with me in the middle of dinner at a restaurant. I was so upset that he didn't deliver the news in a more intimate and sensitive manner. He didn't give any real reason for the breakup, but told me it was time to move on. He was so cold in how he presented it.
My emotions got the best of me and I slapped him – hard – and then walked out. While I'm still resentful of how he handled it, a part of me feels like I should apologize for slapping him. Is an apology appropriate? Should I send an email?
Yes, an apology email would be appropriate. It is not OK to slap people, even if they have dumped you in the middle of a restaurant. That kind of thing happens on television (sometimes it's a beverage thrown in someone's face), but that kind of behavior doesn't work in real life.
Keep your note simple. Two sentences at the most. "I'm writing apologize for my reaction to the breakup. I was upset, but it was inappropriate." The end.
A thing to know is that there's no perfect place to do a breakup. There's no magic thing to say, no easy way to make someone feel OK about it. It sounds like this guy could have been more sensitive about his delivery, but I can't judge the venue. I've been broken up with in a number of places, and none of them have felt right. The ideal breakup (for me, at least) would happen outside, in some park I'll never visit again, close to rides home and takeout. But everybody is different. Maybe he thought he was doing the most sensitive thing.
Send the note and let the whole thing go. It's time to move on.
Readers? Where should breakups happen?