I helped him ask out someone else


There's this guy who I've liked for quite awhile. I met him months ago when I was out with friends.

At first I thought my friend would pursue this man (they had a lot in common), but she ended up falling for his best friend. That gave me the green light to pursue my crush.

My friend's now-boyfriend could tell that I had a thing for his friend. He reassured me that I was his friend's type – that the feelings would be reciprocated. He told me about his friend's interests, and what to do to get his attention.

Long story short, it didn't work. At least not like I planned. He flirts with me, sure, but I think he sees me more as a friend. I even helped him come up with a plan to ask out another girl (at his request). I feel so stupid.

His friend suggested that maybe he actually likes me and is trying to make me jealous, but I don't want to make a fool of myself by continuing to flirt and make moves. I am just confused and feeling lovesick. What should I do?

– Confused and Lovesick

1. Stop using your crush's friend as a source of information. He does not know what he's talking about and seems to be telling you what you want to hear – which doesn't help anyone.

2. This is not a romantic comedy, which means you shouldn't have to devise a complicated plan to get this guy's attention. In real life, there's no need to research a crush's interests so you know exactly what to tell him. You're supposed to get to know him and see what happens. It's that simple.

3. The best way to make a fool of yourself is to pretend you're super cool about something when you're very much not. Helping him plan a date gets you nowhere. That's when you say, "I'm not the person for this job. I'm hoping we can go on a date of our own."

In short, you have to tell him how you feel; there's no getting around it. If you want to know what's happening here, please ask the one person who has the answers.

– Meredith

Readers? Does the friend know what he's talking about?