Today we have two updates from people who want more advice. Feel free to help.
The first update is from a letter writer whose significant other had a significant ex.
I am the woman who broke up with her ex because of his constant contact with his ex-wife. Even though they had no children or business together, they were "the best of friends" and texted constantly.
For some bizarre reason, I reached out to him on his birthday and then reconnected with him on a recent trip to his city. I really thought we would have a nice dinner and remain friends, and have better closure since the breakup was not easy for us. Now that we reconnected, it seems we have fallen in love and want to be together.
The problem is that my heart knows that nothing has really changed when it comes to his ex. I'm less bothered now for some reason, but I know that as we spend more time together, this might become a problem again. I'm afraid this won't work, but I don't know if I can just love him and let him go. Any advice that might help us now?
The second update is from a very recent letter writer who's trying to be patient.
The advice was really helpful and we're still speaking, however we've had other incidents where he has said he loves me during intimate moments and I have chosen to be blasé and write it off as endorphins and getting caught up in the moment.
I am so grateful for you helping put my mind to rest; I have been cheated on a lot in the past and do have a lot of anxiety about finding someone. It's just complicated when we both entered this not wanting a relationship but now find ourselves having more feelings.
As much as I trust him, I still find myself getting anxious about how to proceed at certain times. For example, while I was at his place this week, he received a drinks invitation from a girl who has feelings for him (I know that nothing has happened between the two of them, and I have met her). I didn't freak out and I respected that he is going to meet other girls and have friends, but it's still difficult. Meanwhile, he said he feels guilty because he cares but isn't 100 percent sure he wants a relationship. Any extra advice would be great.
That's all for today. See you Monday. - Meredith
Speaking of Love
"Don't have sex, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them." — Steve Martin