Is he just busy?

We're looking for updates from former letter writers for the holidays. Tell us what happened – and whether the advice was helpful. Send your note from (or with) the email address you used to send the letter. Email it all to: Meredith.Goldstein@Globe.com.

Also, Love Letters has Instagram now. Just so you know.

Today is another letter about messages received – and the meaning of busy.

Hi Meredith,

I met this guy about three or four months ago through a dating app. We hit it off pretty fast. He was really into it and wanted to meet up after about two weeks of texting almost non-stop. We met and had a connection and also fooled around a bit. After that, I went on vacation. At the end of that trip, he told me he missed me.

We continued chatting after I got back, and after two weeks, we met in person again. That time we had sex (maybe it was too soon) but it felt right. We talked after that in a flirty way – saying that we needed to see each other again. I should probably also tell you that he has very weird working hours, works for the government, and lives in a city 45 minutes away from me. Anyway, all was good until one day he told me about some stresses in his life. He said there was an illness in the family, and that he had a lot going on at his job for the next two weeks, so he wasn't sure when we could see each other.

I told him I understood. I said I was sorry about his family, and that if he needed someone to talk to, I'm here. After a few days, I texted him to ask how he's doing and got no response. But I saw the message only delivered and not read. It was read after a week but I still got no reply. I see him checking my social platforms, but I don't know what to do. Is he pushing me away or just busy? Should I text him again or leave it? Please help :)

– thank you


A note to all humans: If you want to ghost someone (which, for the record, I don't recommend), please avoid their social media. Do not watch their Instagram Stories because they'll know you did. Try not be wishy-washy about your interest; just disappear.

Letter writer, in your case, I don't know if your guy is ghosting – it's too early to say. Your best bet is to wait it out for two weeks before making any decisions about his intentions. He asked for that time, and you understood. You should be able to respect that boundary.

At the end of that period, though, it's on him to text – or return a text. He owes you that much. If he's not communicating then, consider this a disappearance and get back on the app. In fact, you can browse the app right now if you want. You're not committed to anyone, and you should remind yourself that he's not the only guy out there.

– Meredith

Readers? Is he going to reach out when he's ready? Why do some people ignore texts but make it clear they’ve checked social media?