We broke up and now he’s ignoring me

A man and I were in a serious relationship for two and a half years. The reason we broke up is because I was offered a job in a different state and he didn't want a long-distance relationship. Toward the end of the relationship, we had bad fights about to what we were going to do. I begged and pleaded for him to try long-distance. After we broke up and I moved away, we stayed in very close contact with each other for a few months until I tried to cut it off because I knew it was going nowhere. We then began talking again but less frequently.

About four months after this, he just started ignoring me completely without any type of explanation. Fast forward about six months, and I reached out to him and we talked. There was a slight disconnect, but he and I agreed to stay in contact. I reached out to him on few separate occasions and he went back to ignoring. Fast forward less than a year later and I found out that he's engaged. I've tried to reach out to him, begging and pleading. I know I sound desperate.

He has completely ignored me and won't let me in in the slightest way. I've been devastated since I found out. Why has he chosen to ignore me in such a brash way? When we broke up, he said he wanted to remain close, but now he can't stand me. I don't understand why he wouldn't just tell me he was in a relationship.

– Ignored


"Why has he chosen to ignore me in such a brash way?"

Because you broke up, and that's what happens. Some people break up and never talk again. Friendships with exes are not guaranteed.

Also, in your case, you haven't been asking for a friendship, have you? You "begged" for a long-distance relationship because you never wanted to break up to begin with. He kept in touch after that, and you cut it off – because it was "going nowhere."

I know it's hard to let go of someone who was important for so long, but it's a necessary part of the process. That "slight disconnect" meant everything. He never wanted this last round of keeping in touch.

He could have told you he was seeing someone else – that might have helped you understand where you stood – but he wasn't obligated to share the details of his life. But now you can use that information to inform your next moves, which should be to stop calling, let go, and move on. Let him live his life ... and you get back to yours.

– Meredith

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