Can I date my ex’s friend?

This is our second letter of the week from someone who's like, "I'm super happy and don't know if that's OK." It is OK.

I'm in love with my ex-boyfriend's best friend.

It started when my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and lied to me about it. He was seeing (and sleeping with) me and this other person, and I would have never known if it weren't for his best friend. The friend told me because he didn't agree with what was being done, and he thought I deserved better.

Four months went by and I hadn't had any contact with either of them. I ran into his friend at a bar and we played pool together. His friend kissed me, which surprised me. I felt so guilty but so amazing at the same time!

My ex moved on immediately and married the other woman, and I just don’t know if I am in the wrong. He was terrible to me and I haven't been treated very well by him since. His friend is so kind and so attentive ... they're no longer friends but I still feel wrong. Am I?

- Wrong?


Not wrong! Not wrong at all. You have no ties to your ex, and he is married to someone else. You certainly don't owe him anything. He's not in your life.

You don't even have to worry about breaking up a friendship because these two men are not best friends anymore. Really, your ex is an ex to both of you. That's great.

My only advice is to make sure you're processing your feelings about the breakup – on your own – so that you don't let them haunt your current relationship. You don't want this exciting time with your new love interest to be 100 percent rooted in how you met. The conversation shouldn't be all about the past.

Let yourself move on – and call this relationship something new.

– Meredith

Readers? Any problems here?