‘Am I crazy to still love him?’

As promised, there is a Love Letters podcast. It will include great breakup tales, lots of interviews, and some personal stories. You can hear the trailer and subscribe for free here. It has been very interesting to talk about these things with people in person ... and yes, there will be space for comments. :)

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I have been married for more than three years and have known my husband for almost six years. This is my first marriage. He has been married before.

Our marriage has been rocky for a while due to differences in parenting (I have a child from a previous relationship), morals, and him not keeping a job. But now he has a great job.

For a long time, our biggest conflict has been the amount of time he spent with his best friend ... who never came around our family. They would take vacations together and talk on the phone all day. He suggested counseling, but while in counseling he stated "I don't have to take advice from the counselor because she gets paid to talk."

Three weeks ago I found a life insurance policy where he listed his sister as his 100 percent beneficiary. When I questioned why he would do that, he replied he was "mad at me." I could not get past it so I pressured him to apologize or explain to me how he felt this was OK. He was so angry ... he stormed out the house, moved in with his mom, packed all his things behind my back, changed his address, and blocked me from all communications.

Am I crazy to still love him and want him to come back home? He is my husband ... and I take my vows seriously. I've been left with all the bills and a child who can't understand. Any advice is welcome.

– Blocked


You miss the man you chose to marry. You want him to come home. You're less interested in the guy who punishes you when he's mad, rejects therapy, and storms out of the house.

Yes, there's still love there, but only because of your history and the hope that he can be a better partner. But he's only getting worse, right? You need to begin setting up your life without him.

You should meet with a legal professional to figure out who's responsible for the bills and what you need to do to protect your own assets. You should also call upon the closest people in your community to show your child (and yourself) that your home can still be full. Supportive friends and family should be around as much as possible. That's the best way to figure out what's next.

I wish I could tell you that your husband would transform into a good partner and return, but all I see in your letter is a story about someone who's quick to dismiss and punish. That no longer works for you – and you deserve more.

– Meredith

Readers? Can this marriage be saved?