We can’t bring each other home

Dear Meredith,

I've been dating this guy for a couple of months now. We met online, so imagine my surprise when we really hit it off. He's handsome, funny, and kind. He's really easy to talk to, and I started to feel really comfortable around him right away. In the past, it's been hard for me to develop this kind of relationship with anyone else. I've developed feelings for him very quickly.

We're both in our 20s and still live at home, which is becoming a problem. Neither one of us are ready to meet the other person's family just yet; it's a big step and we are moving slowly. He lives about an hour away from me, but we've been making it work by meeting halfway. The main issue is that when we do meet up, we are together until the wee hours of the morning, usually in a car. Time passes very quickly with him, and typically we decide it's time to say goodnight when the police come to tell us we are trespassing after a certain hour.

I don't want to rush things and bring him home, and vice versa with him bringing me home; we'd wind up meeting each other's families. We have spent one night at my house and one at his, when our families were out of town, but that was a rare opportunity. I think taking a step we aren't ready for would ruin our relationship, and that would leave me heartbroken. On the other hand, we can't keep getting asked by the police to leave certain places, and a little bit of privacy would be fantastic. As I stated before, meeting the family is NOT an option. I don't have any new ideas of where we could go and I'm at a loss because I really value the time we spend together. What do we do?

- hopelessly trespassing


OK, I know you said that meeting the family is NOT an option, but you can't keep this a secret forever. At some point, the introduction has to happen – because there's no other way for the relationship to grow. I won't make guesses about the rules in your household, but I imagine your family wouldn't want you hanging out in a car until 3 a.m. They might be more open to you having someone over, safe at home. It might help to have a conversation with them about entertaining guests while maintaining boundaries.

In the meantime, one way to put off the inevitable introduction is to bring this man around other people in your life – like your friends. That might be a great way to spend time with him outside of a car. You can go to friends' houses, maybe invite more than one person over to your house. Is there anyone in your community who wouldn't mind having company?

This might be too much, but ... you could also opt out of dinners and whatever else you spend money on during dates and rent a room where you can be together. Whatever investment you make should be put toward getting you out of a car and in a place where you're not trespassing.

– Meredith

Readers? Other creative ideas?