If you're in Chatham on Monday night ... bring the family, etc.
There were some great materials at yesterday's 9th annual Breakup Summit put on by the Boston Public Health Commission. The event was for teens, but I wish they had those seminars for adults. Maybe I will scan the stuff they gave me and put it up for us.
I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and six months. In the last year or so, he's started to feel insecure about me being around other guys, and at times he's become a little controlling. I always told myself it's because I'm now in college. Honestly, I understand why he would feel threatened. Now I'm going back to school again in August.
Earlier this summer, an old friend sent me screenshots of my boyfriend texting her that he wanted to see her. In the messages, he told her she was pretty. I confronted him and broke up with him, and since then, he has done nothing but apologize. He tells me that he can't go on another day without me texting him back. I tried ignoring his texts, but usually I end up returning a message. One day he texted me to go outside, and he had left flowers, nail polish I've been looking for, and a 10-page letter. He continues to write me letters every day. Its very much out of character. He seems to have changed so much – for the better.
After that day, I met up with him to talk about all of this, and we kissed – and it just felt so right. He hugged me and I literally felt like I was melting in his arms. I don't know if I should move on or give him another chance. All I know is that I do love him.
– Can't Let Go
Everyone here is probably going to tell you to break up with this guy for good, and before August.
I'm also going to offer that advice, but not because your boyfriend texted flirty messages to your friend. That move wasn't great (and I don't know why he thought he wouldn't get caught), but it's not the big problem.
He sent those texts because he's threatened by your new life in college. He might be apologetic and giving you incredible kisses in July, but what happens in September? It doesn't sound like he can give you the space you need to focus on yourself and grow at school. If that's the case, he is no longer the right partner for you.
If you really want to try to make this work (and it sounds like you do), set your own rules for the fall. Let him know how he can support you without limiting your experience. Make your wishes clear so you can find out if he's really interested in the kind of relationship you need.
Prepare yourself, because he might not want the same things.
No matter what happens, keep the nail polish.
Readers? Time to break up?