I'm in my mid-30s and dated a woman in her early 30s for almost a year, and everything was amazing. We have mutual friends and went to concerts, on trips, to restaurants, etc., and it was always a great time. We had talked several times about kids and the future. We clicked on every level.
Then one night I was super stressed from work and kind of broke down and just vented about things in my life totally unrelated to our relationship, but it was the first time she saw me so down and vulnerable. After an hour-long phone call, she hung up on me and didn't return my calls for a couple of days. When she did, she said she couldn't do the relationship anymore.
After that call, she agreed to meet up. She said she couldn't change her mind, but also said that she was unable to tell me she didn't want to be with me. Over the next two months, I sent her an occasional text that she would never respond to, but I saw that the messages were read. I'm curious as to why – if she can't say she doesn't want to be with me, for sure – she won't talk to me. I also want to know if there's a chance she could want to try again at some point? Thank you for your help.
– Lost in love
When breaking up with someone you care about, it is possible to feel many complicated things at once. You can feel sad about the loss while feeling relieved that the commitment is over. You might feel sorrow and excitement in the same second. It can be very confusing.
It's possible that your ex is quite confident about the breakup, but that she still has romantic feelings. That's probably why she said the confusing thing about still wanting to be with you. She wasn't saying she should or will be with you, though, and that's the only thing that matters.
This ex hasn't given you any real reason to believe she'll try again, which means you have to leave her alone. Stop sending texts, and understand that her reading them did not suggest she was changing her mind. Most people read all of their texts, no matter what. (She also might have been reading those messages to make sure you had accepted the breakup.)
As you begin to move on, please know that a relationship rarely ends because of one uncomfortable or negative phone call. That means you did not click on every level. Now you know.
Readers? Did they click on every level?