I hated his clothing choices on our date

Dear Meredith,

I have met a great guy through Tinder (UGH), and we had instant chemistry. We went out on our first date five days after “matching." The date was far less awkward than most first dates, and we had a great time. We also got pretty intoxicated. I invited him home and we had fun. This is opposite behavior to how I usually am on a first date, but like I said, the chemistry was seriously there.

He has been nothing but a gentleman since then and we are going on our second date tonight, which will be dinner at a trendy restaurant. He is doing everything right and I do think I could like him. Here's the kicker, and let me preface this by saying that I know I sound shallow ... but ... I hated his clothing choices on our date, we are the same height, and he is definitely shaped a little differently than his photos led me to believe. I know I shouldn't care about all of these stupid things but they are bugging me. I'm 30 and need to quit being so picky or I will be single forever, but I can't help but think that I am not that attracted to him physically. Could we have something real if that is the case? How do I move past this?

– Shallow


You had so much chemistry with this man that you brought him home on the first date. Yes, you were intoxicated, but it sounds like you had a really great time from start to finish. Something tells me that if you were truly repulsed by his wardrobe and appearance, the date would have been a lot more awkward. Instead, you were distracted by all of the good stuff. Your summary of the date was that you "had a great time."

Instead of rewriting the first date experience so that it was more about his clothing and height than the quality of the companionship, see him again with an open mind. Try to have fun. That's what these first few meetups are all about.

After a third or fourth date – if you get there – you'll be able decide whether some things about him seem more important than others. That's usually how it goes. You wind up obsessed with things like clothes ... or you don't see them at all.

For now, all you have to do is show up. Ask the big questions later.

– Meredith

Readers? Has wardrobe ever been a deal-breaker?