I hope you all had some nice days off. We have two updates for the holiday weekend.
The first is about one of my favorite letters, you know. This update came in a few weeks ago – and I swear I didn't ask for the product placement.
I wrote in three years ago and figured I'd give an update. I am feeling thankful for the community and how much you've helped me. Also, I read "Can't Help Myself" in a single day and you are AMAZING.
I am still with the BF. He is currently my fiancé and he's going to be my husband in 10 days! We've now been together for eight years. I feel so secure. Eight years is such a great foundation. We've really learned so much about each other and communication. Obviously, it's not all fairy tales, but that's what makes our relationship work. We know we can bring up pretty much anything and talk with empathy. I couldn't ask for more.
Anyway, we did get to the bottom of the "you know" issue. It was actually funny because it was so meaningless. BF explained that he was in the middle of an office project and had to work with an older colleague who said "you know" constantly. My BF and his friend actually counted how many times the guy said "you know" on their daily conference calls and they would do this stupid over/under bet as a joke. That's why it was on his radar - and driving him crazy.
So, there it is. No deeper meanings. He wasn't nervous about moving in. I was probably the one nervous about moving in, and I ended up over analyzing his actions, although his judgement felt harsh at the time.
I don't know why I feel the need to defend myself to the commenters, but for the record, I don't have anger issues. I am thorough when I care about something. My fiancé loves me for it.
The next happy ending comes from a letter writer who was looking for some help with dating.
I wrote a few years ago as a single mom trying to navigate the dating world. I was finding online dating to be pretty challenging and, at times, a little dicey. I was on again/off again with various sites when a truly terrific man literally showed up on my doorstep. Two winters ago, during a nor'easter, a tree fell down and ripped the power lines out of my house. My now-boyfriend, who worked for my landlord, came to my door to check on things. Since he was cold and wet, I invited him in for a cup of tea (my gas stove still worked so I could brew tea!). We chatted for a few hours and a week later, I texted him to ask him out. We've been together ever since. Maybe that tree coming down was serendipity - I call it an act of God - but the lesson here is you just never know when or how things will fall into place.
Thanks for your column and your great advice to all your writers - I read it every day!
If you're a former letter writer and want to send an update, email it to [email protected] with "update" in the subject line. And see you all Monday.
Speaking of Love
"Well, by 25 or 26, I want to see myself, like, married or start looking for a family." — Justin Bieber, 2011