Approaching a gym crush

Our history at the gym includes letters from 2010, 2013, 2016, and last month.

Also, where are my letters about holiday stress, gifts, office parties, etc.? Send here.

Hi Meredith!

I go to a small gym in Boston. Everyone in the neighborhood who wants to save a buck goes there. For the past six months or so, my friends have loved hearing my regular updates about my infamous (drumroll please) gym crush. Every time I report back that he was there when I was, my friends and I rejoice!

Even though it's all said half-jokingly, he really is a total hottie. I've been single for a while so I'm wondering if I should make a move. My worst fear is that he has a girlfriend. I'm not ready for that type of rejection. His gym schedule is extremely regular, so I take it he's a regimented guy. AKA HE MUST HAVE A GF KEEPING HIM ON LOCK. Am I right? What do you think. Do I risk it for the biscuit? Or keep on with my distant admiration?

– Fit and tryna be flirty


Think about whether you actually want to go out with this person. Not all crushes are meant to be pursued. If you enjoy talking about him with friends more than you imagine speaking to him, consider the goal here.

If you do, in fact, want to learn more about him, please know that your biggest concern shouldn't be rejection. Because you can get over that. The bigger issue is how to approach this man without making his gym time uncomfortable. Working out is part of his routine; he's there with consistency because he likes the experience. For that reason, I would not jump to asking him out. I'd start with simple conversation to see if he's open. Give him the chance to engage – or walk away.

Is there anything you can ask him about? Any benign conversation worth having?

Worth noting: his predictable schedule does not mean he has a partner "keeping him on lock." But you know that. Your schedule sounds pretty consistent, too.

– Meredith

Readers? Once again, how and when does one pursue a gym crush?