So in the summer of 2018, I met the man of my dreams. We're both 23 and met on a dating app. We chatted a little bit, and then after I couldn't go on the dinner date he had suggested, I invited him for drinks. He drove two hours to see me. We had a drink out on the town, and later went clubbing spontaneously. He's just my type and we had amazing chemistry and talked about deep stuff like our families, being bullied as a kid, his ex-girlfriend, and me doubting that guys ever find me attractive because I've never had a boyfriend.
The last part I probably shouldn't have told him because I'm not actually that insecure anymore. I'm OK with myself and am learning that a lot of guys actually do find me attractive. But I hoped that by telling him about how I've felt, I'd be giving him insight into my past.
We ended up walking around town until 6 a.m., just talking, because we didn't want to end the night. I was completely sober and he'd only had one beer. He hugged me tight when we said goodbye. During the whole date he'd never tried to make a move on me, not even in the club. It was just a perfect night.
And then ... nothing. He never texts, and whenever I do – especially to ask about a second date – he doesn't reply, or it takes him days to a week. I can't forget him because everything about him was just what I've been looking for, and I will never be able to un-see him as the man of my dreams, as dramatic as that sounds. I mean, it's January. It's almost been half a year since our date. One time I texted him saying that I would've liked to have seen him again, and he was like, "You make it sound like we're not. I'd be down." But then, of course, when I offer to visit him he doesn't even reply.
Lots of people tell me he just came to see me hoping for sex. But he could've had the sex if he had made the second date! I ignored him for a bit. Then, after replacing my profile pic with a hot pic of myself, he texted me for the first time, voluntarily, to make sure we were staying in touch. And that's it. Nothing since that last text three months ago. Please tell me what I can do to get him interested again, and where I went wrong. Should I send him a sexy pic to get him in the mood? Thank you so much for your time.
– Now what
Do not send him a sexy pic. He has not earned a sexy pic.
Instead, take some new pics and put them on the dating apps. Use them to find other people. Consider this man gone.
I know it's frustrating. Why have a "Before Sunrise" date – why pursue soul-mate-style romance until 6 a.m. – if you have no interest in more? I mean ... it's possible he has a girlfriend. Or maybe he was between relationships and just needed some attention. Who knows? All that matters is that he's not reciprocating the effort here, and you can't do all of the work on your own.
It's important you know that this person is not everything you've been looking for. It was just one great night – an incredible memory – but you might be more interested in someone who ends a date after a few hours because he's already planning to see you again. This particular evening was out of a movie, but cinematic marathon dates don't always lead to the kind of relationships you'd enjoy in real life. Sometimes shorter, awkward first dates are the ones that turn into so much more.
Readers? Sexy pic?