I kissed my friend’s boyfriend

Hi Meredith,

I really need help. My friend "Amy" has been going out with a guy, "Bill," for a year and a half now, but they recently broke up and got back together. I was on a night out last night and I ran into Bill. We'd both had a few drinks and were just talking and getting to know each other. The conversion got deep very fast.

On the walk back, Bill kissed me. I pushed him away and said no because it's a bad idea, but then he kissed me again and I kissed back. We both agreed it was only an innocent kiss that didn't mean anything, but we don't want to tell Amy as she's already in a very fragile state and could do something reckless. Now what?

- idiotic girl


I don't know what kind of advice you're asking for here. You've already made a decision not to tell Amy about the kiss, so that's that.

The real issue in this letter, I assume, is that you liked talking to Bill. You say the "conversation got deep," which means you felt a real connection. You say it was an innocent kiss, but you participated because you were having feelings. That's what's upsetting you the most, I think.

My advice is to stop yourself from replaying the night in your brain. No analyzing the conversations you had with Bill that night. No overthinking the meaning of every word. Bill is not a potential dating option for you, nor is he a friend, so your best bet is to limit him in all ways. He's your friend's boyfriend. There's really no need to consider him much at all.

I realize this advice is difficult to accept because we've just put a lot of words into the universe that are all about Bill. But you can stop thinking about him. Let's minimize him now. (Well, at least by the end of the day. There might be a lot of Bill in the comments section.)

– Meredith

Readers? What's the real problem here? What if there are feelings that go beyond that night?