In November of last year, I fell in love at first sight. My friends and I kept seeing this man frequently around town, commonly referring to him as the most beautiful man. This naturally induced a ridiculous fear of approaching him. We continued watching from afar until one night, out of nowhere, I felt brave and went for it. We had a long conversation, he asked for my number, and I went home beaming. I never got a call or text, but the next time I saw him we spent the entire night together, and then it happened again the next night. We talked about how we both shy away from dating apps and prefer to find a connection in person. I let that explain the lack of virtual interaction right away.
I left for a month-long trip afterwards and initially heard nothing. Halfway through the trip, he followed me on social media and frequently replied to things with small comments (or even just an emoji). He's definitely not the type to be texting all day, but I constantly wanted to hear from him more. When I got back from my trip, I tried a little harder to make plans. He's so vaguely indifferent (or as my friends call it, "sexy and mysterious") that I only ever see him when we run into each other in the city. It's hard for me to be as clear because I'm in fear of losing the romantic mystery of the whole thing. Technically, this is exactly what I wanted, something whimsical and surprising that leaves me wanting more. So am I just being impatient, or am I compromising my wants and needs simply because of the pedestal he's been put on?
I'm trying to figure out how it's possible to just bump into someone when you live in a city. Maybe you frequent the same restaurants and bars. Still, it all sounds very serendipitous.
I believe that you enjoy this kind of mystery and excitement. But I'm not sure you like it enough. You say you want something surprising that leaves you wanting more, but ... then you do want more. You want him to show up and deliver. It sounds like you want to have real planned dates with this person. You want to know when you'll see him next.
It's time to talk to him about what he can offer because small comments and emojs aren't enough. If he can't make plans or see you for a simple dinner, this is too mysterious – and too much work.
Really, this behavior reminds me a bit of Batman. He's engaged when he's with you, but you sort of have to wait until he shows up on his schedule. But you can't expect to know or understand his schedule – because he's Batman. You have to find him. And you're like, "Well, he can behave this way because he has something important to do, I guess."
But the people who date Batman always look pretty tired. You're better off losing some mystery to get some answers.
Readers? Does she really want this mystery?