Is it time to move in together?

There are some great photos from the Love Letters 10th anniversary party. If you want to see some, I'm sending them out in the newsletter next week. Sign up for it here.

My boyfriend and I have known each other for about five years; we met through mutual friends when I moved to San Francisco for college. In March of 2018, we began to grow closer in a more romantic way, and we developed a relationship that was definitely more than just friends.

After finishing school, I had already decided I was going to move back in with my parents (back in Los Angeles) to save, but even knowing this we continued our efforts because we both could tell that this was something much bigger. We are now in a long-distance relationship that has been going on for about six months and we're extremely happy. We made it "official" and have been making the distance work through visits, FaceTime, phone calls, etc.

Now I am getting closer to my financial goal for myself and am beginning to talk next steps with my boyfriend. We both are very clear that we want to develop a future (house, kids, dog, etc.) and are ready to take that leap. We've lived in the same city as friends, as a couple, and in different cities as a couple. That's why I feel we work so well – because we've had variation. I guess I just want some guidance about moving in together. If we do that within the year, are we moving too fast?

– Too fast?


It doesn’t sound like you're rushing anything. You've been with this person for about a year, and you've known him for five. This letter suggests that you're very confident about the relationship, and, more importantly, very happy.

We get so many letters from people who are wondering about next steps. In some cases, they're not sure whether their significant other wants the same things. In others, there's trouble with communication. So far, you don't have any of those issues, and maybe that's why you've written this letter. Maybe it's a little strange to be in a relationship that’s sort of ... easy. (I'll admit that it's certainly a different experience to read a letter from someone who's basically just ... content.)

If you want to make sure all relationship questions are answered before the move-in, you can always sublet a room for a bit, but if you don't want to add that step, that's OK. Plan your cohabitation. Find a place that makes you both happy. Get one of those vertical bookshelves, like the one Edward has in "Twilight" because it looks nice. Enjoy getting to know each other in a new way.

– Meredith

Readers? Any reason to pause here?