‘I’m thinking of handing him a note’

Hi Meredith,

I stumbled quite accidentally on your website, so here goes. I have seen this guy every morning when I walk to my bus to go to work. We are always going in opposite directions, but on this one occasion, he spoke and said good morning. I was completely caught off guard, in a good way, for sure. So I thought, OK, this is interesting. But then it happened the next time I saw him and the next time and so on. Unfortunately, these encounters haven't amounted to anything more. I'm an extremely introverted person, so the idea of starting some sort of inane dialogue with this guy quite literally terrifies me. I mean, what if he completely ignores me or doesn't respond or something equally embarrassing?

On the other hand, I'm thinking of handing him a note. But then I think, who writes letters anymore? It's so old fashioned that maybe he won't think it's as romantic as I do. If someone handed me a letter in an envelope and had taken the time to write something heartfelt to me, I would cherish it and think it was the sweetest gesture ever! My friends all tell me I should just talk to the guy, but I'd like to do things a bit different, so different that he can't help but want to know me! I'm not sure if there's a question in there, but maybe I'm just looking for some validation!

– Introverted


I'm with your friends. It's not that I'm anti-note or in favor of inane conversation, but at the moment, all you've said are a few hellos. You could try asking him one question. You could even say, "I see you every day of my life; I just thought I’d introduce myself." It might be a frightening interaction because you're introverted and very into him, but it sounds like you've managed to return his morning greetings. This is only one step beyond that.

If you do write the note, please kept it short and sweet. Do not profess anything important (like a massive crush or an overwhelming desire to follow him wherever he goes). There are also alternatives to the note that might lead to more. If some man I saw every morning on the way to the T offered me a baked good – like, "Hey, I was getting my blueberry muffin and knew I'd see you and figured you might want one too," I might fall madly in love. Maybe. I'm just saying it doesn't have to involve an envelope.

It does sound like you're ready to take a risk, which is wonderful (congrats). Please remember, though, that you can't skip the process of getting to know someone. It's not "inane conversation" if it gets you to the next step. Even if he responds well to a note, you'll have to start with simple introductions basic information.

Please update us on what happens. If you do write the note and it works, we'll be desperate to know how you handed it off and what was in it.

– Meredith

Readers? Note? Inane talk?