‘He always has an excuse to stay home’

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I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. We moved in together a year and a half ago and everything changed. When we started dating, he was romantic. He was always physically affectionate and took me out alone and with his friends. But then that stopped. The thing is, we live in a different country (far away from our home country) and I don't have friends here. I always feel lonely sad and bored and he knows it.

We're always fighting about going out. He says he's tired and doesn’t want to stay up late or spend the money. One time his friends asked him out and he said he'd rather get sleep, but I asked him if I could go. He said it was all guys and I wasn't invited. I was upset and angry.

He always has an excuse to stay home. Even when I ask him to go to the grocery store, he says he can't. I love clubbing but he says he'll never go. He'd rather come home, talk for a bit, and then talk on the phone and watch stupid videos. Also, he doesn't say "I love you" anymore

I'm just tired and I think I want to break up. I can't move out; I don't have enough money and it's pretty difficult to move into another room. Is there any chance our relationship will be good again?

– Stuck


"I'm just tired and I think I want to break up."

Look at you, doing my work for me. You already know what you want; the issue is logistics.

How do you share an apartment after a breakup? How do you move (or ask him to move out) if you don't have the money to cover things on your own? I don't have easy answers to those questions, but I suggest looking for sublets and asking anyone you know to tell you the best way to find housing where you live. It might be more possible – and affordable – than you think.

You can also have a mature, empathetic conversation with your boyfriend about what you want and how to separate. Maybe he sees the writing on the wall and has already thought about other options. I mean, it's clear you want different things. It's time to give each other space to get them.

No matter where you live, you need to start looking for a group of friends because you shouldn't depend on one person to be your one connection to the outside world. Maybe you can invite some people from work to dinner. Or perhaps there’s an organization in town that caters to newcomers. Sign up for free activities. Take advantage of apps that connect people with platonic intentions.

You're a social person. You'll want community whether you're coupled or not.

– Meredith

Readers? How do you break up when you're in this kind of living situation?