Does he want me for a visa?

We chat at 1.

I am 23 years old and recently went to a tropical place where I met a man. I was staying at a resort where he works as an entertainer, and, long story short, we ended up spending my last three nights there together (nothing too intimate, just talking and kissing). He asked me to consider a relationship and to try long-distance dating. I agreed. I have wanted to get out of my comfort zone for a while now, and this is the perfect way to do so.

My biggest fear is the that he has suggested this because he wants someone to help him get a visa. It doesn't seem like it because when I said he should marry someone for that reason, he got super offended and said he will only marry for love. He is also 21 years old (1.5 years younger than me). Do you think I should give this relationship a try and see where it goes until the next time I see him? I want to go back in five or six months.

– Comfort Zone


I'd love to know more about why you need to get out of your comfort zone. Like ... how far away from it (geographically) do you really want to be? I'm all for new experiences, but when someone you like is really far away, it's hard to enjoy them at all. I guess I'm wondering whether that's part of the comfort here – that you get to feel like you're in a relationship without having that person around. Just something to think about.

I don't see a reason to commit to this man right now. You can keep in touch – continue to plan that visit – but remove all high stakes and exclusivity from the equation. Long-distance relationships can work, and I'm sure there are many people who have romantic stories about meeting their life partner in a faraway place, but I'm not sure they had the answers to any big questions after three nights.

You had enough time with this man to know you want to get to know him and see him again. Start there, but don't stop looking around at home.

– Meredith

Readers? Is this worth pursuing?