He’s younger and a mansplainer

Chat at 1 p.m.

I'm dating a much younger man. I seem to have trouble with his need to inform everyone (including me) about how the world runs, and his other narcissistic traits.

Is this mansplaining? Is is harmless? In my gut, it feels icky. I am 20 years his senior, have had many life experiences, yet I am talked to like an ignorant person. He even says there are many things he needs to teach me.

I am trying to keep an open mind because he is very informed and intelligent. But I could care less about the type of information he finds so fascinating. I just want to enjoy life, be peaceful and content. I do love him, and there is amazing chemistry between us. I'm just feeling very confused over his need for dominance. We have been together for 10 months. He wants to get married, but I'm hesitant.

– Let me explain


This is a bad match. The relationship should not go on like this.

You have two options, both of which require confidence and courage. The first is to break up with him. Yes, there's chemistry, and you say you love him (although you didn't take the time to tell us why), but he's not the right partner. He's certainly not someone you want as a husband.

Option 2 is to tell him you don't want to be lectured – ever – and then give him the chance to change. You'd have to correct him whenever he tries to mansplain. He might not like it, and it would require a great deal of honesty and effort. But he might be capable of understanding why he should keep many of his lessons to himself. And if he isn't, you can reconsider Option 1.

I just want you to know that this behavior isn't harmless. It's exhausting and unpleasant and absolutely deal-breaker.

– Meredith

Readers? Is he threatened by the letter writer's life experience? Is this something that can be fixed?