He’d rather work on his truck

Former letter writers, what happened after you wrote in? Send an update to meredith.goldstein@globe.com with "update" in the subject line.

Everyone else, do you have questions now that the year is coming to an end? Send here.

I met this guy online three weeks ago. We immediately hit it off had a passionate make-out session (which I stopped at some point). I told him from day one I wanted a relationship, not a fling. So for two weeks he was calling me every day, initiating text conversations.

A week ago we slept together. Don't get me wrong – it was amazing – but since then, when I try to get him to commit to seeing each other, he uses the excuse that he is still working on his truck (which he bought cheap and doesn't actively use) and can't do anything.

I offered to make the drive to his parents' house where he lives. It's an hour away. At first he said yes, but then I didn’t hear from him. I wound up texting and asking for a time. He said he didn't know yet and would let me know. The idea was to meet for breakfast, so I wound up calling him the night before to get a plan together. I needed to know when to leave/arrive. He didn't answer immediately and eventually texted back to say he was at the movies.

So … he can't come to see me, but he can go 30 miles to movies? I didn't comment on that. I got really upset and asked point blank if he wanted a relationship or not because this is not fair to me. We wound up meeting in person, but nothing was decided. He had said in the beginning that he would be seeing other people, but when I asked if I should see others, he got upset. He said he has feelings for me, but it seems like it's about sex. How should I proceed?

– Stuck


I can't tell you what this man wants from you, but I don't think it's sex, at least not anymore. If he wanted that, he would have driven to you for more, right? He would have been quick to set a time for breakfast. An intimate breakfast.

It doesn't sound like he wants much from you (sorry). Maybe he'd like to keep in touch, but he doesn't want to be serious. He'd prefer to work on that truck and to go to the movies without feeling like he's disappointing someone else. For now, at least.

Remember that he's only known you for three weeks. You're asking whether he wants everything, and he might not have an answer for you.

It’s better to focus on what you want. You know you're looking to commit to someone who's good at making plans. You want someone who's thrilled to see you.

Keep looking for that person. Remain active on dating apps. Tell this man it's too soon for you to become exclusive because it's clear you might be seeking different things. He has your number if he needs it.

Make choices based on follow-through. Everything else is just talk.

– Meredith

Readers? What are the expectations and questions at three weeks?