I need help with Valentine's Day. Every year, my husband becomes increasingly less romantic. The other day he stated that it's just a day for retail to make money.
I disagree; I think it's a nice chance for everyone to celebrate their love. I set myself up for disappointment last year when I presented him with a nice card and a thoughtful gift and he did not reciprocate. My thought was that just because he chose to stop acknowledging the holiday, that didn't mean I should.
But this year I'm not sure I can take the hurt. And what if he suddenly decides to give me a card and I have nothing for him?
– On the fence, ready to fall off
On the surface, I'm with your husband. This is not a real holiday to me. I always thought of Valentine's Day as something for kids. They hand out those tiny cards with Iron Man on them and eat some sugary pastel hearts. Then we all move on.
Lately, I'm also getting cynical about Galentine’s Day, this idea that on Feb. 13, we gather with our friends. I used to love the concept, made popular by an episode of "Parks and Recreation." But then I started to see ads for expensive ways to celebrate Galentine's Day, and I thought ... really?
Then I remembered that pretty much every holiday is commercial and often involves some planning. There's a whole industry around Halloween – temporary stores pop up at the mall – and I wouldn't have it any other way. Because I love Halloween.
Some people despise that one, or can't be bothered with New Year's, but manage to rally for the occasions because they want to honor the traditions of a loved one.
Maybe the trick with your husband is to explain that this is part of who you are. You love a great Valentine’s Day plan, and you'd be interested to know how he would celebrate your love if it were up to him. Maybe it's not about cards. Perhaps the two of you can order your favorite takeout and watch two movies — stories you pick for each other.
If you plan together, it'll feel like less of a test. Less of a "did you do it right?" hurdle to jump in your marriage.
Readers? Do you celebrate this holiday with your partner?