He says he’s blocked himself from relationships

There's a new Love Letters podcast episode up. It features a woman talking about how she's been having first dates on FaceTime. Sometimes while stoned. Anyway.

Have a safe weekend. Letters to loveletters@globe.com.

Dear Meredith,

I recently made the decision to hire a match-making/dating service. I had two introductions – good guys, but I did not want to date them again. The next week I meet a man in the grocery store — someone I had already known but not well. The sports activity my kids were involved in used to put us in the the same spaces. I was with someone else when I used to see him.

After running into this man at the grocery store, he said he has always wanted a chance to get to know me and that he's admired me from afar for years. We went on some great dates, we talked for hours, etc. We were both floored at how seamless and easy it was. Well, now with Covid-19, and the fact that he had only been out of his prior relationship for four months, he said he is not ready for a girlfriend. We took long walks outside, shared a meal, and watched movies in this current shelter-in-place circumstance.

He says he "knows something is wrong" with him, like he sets up a "block" for relationships. Needless to say, I was so bummed and feel heartbroken; chemistry and connection don't come easy, and he agreed we had both. I told him I would not text or call, that the ball was in his court. If he has previous relationship stuff to work through, I don’t want to get in the way. Thoughts?

I am a youthful 62, he is 65. Maybe I was falling for Eeyore?

– Pooh


I don't know if I'd call this man an Eeyore. I remember that donkey as being negative but reliable. Eeyore showed up. Your guy doesn't want to be there for you.

All I can say is that I'm sorry about this disappointment. Breakups are a different level of sad and frustrating right now because you can't get together with friends to cry about it, nor can you go on a bunch of dates to distract yourself with other people.

A breakup during quarantine means going through it alone. I want to validate all of your bummed-out and feelings.

Don’t text or call him. Don’t answer his texts or calls if you find they're about his occasional need for attention. Instead, call friends and family. People who show up for you no matter what.

Instead of trying to diagnose this man to figure out why he couldn't deliver, give yourself credit for being unblocked. Feel great about how capable you are when it comes to making a connection. One day, when it's safe, you’ll be able to take your wonderful, youthful self outside to meet someone else.

– Meredith

Readers? Thoughts on this breakup and getting over it under these stay-at-home circumstances?