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After I got divorced, I became friends with my children's friend’s father.
Our families have travelled together and spend a lot of time as a group. He has been dating someone for a couple of years but says he doesn't want to get married. I think I'm falling in love with him.
He has referred to our relationship as platonic. I am so worried that if I tell him my feelings, it will have negative consequences for my children and their friend.
Should I tell him how I feel? Can I tell him and be OK if he isn't interested? I feel like we are totally compatible but just missed our window. Would love to hear your thoughts on how this might play out.
I'm all for taking risks and sharing feelings, but this man is in a committed relationship. He might not want to get married, but he’s chosen to keep someone in his life for years.
If he has a significant other, I'm not sure you should be professing your love. Instead, it might be better to focus on broadening your options. I have to imagine there are some other single parents – or singles, in general – who can be good company. Changing things up might help you remember that it's a big world.
Of course, if you can't clear your brain of these feelings, you can ask questions without offering confessions. If you feel like your friendship is strong enough, you can inquire about how he manages his relationship with the rest of his life. You can let him know you're ready to seek out your own. Having a conversation like that might reveal everything you need to know.
Sometimes the timing is off – or the feelings are off – and we have to stop ourselves from falling for someone. It's possible, especially if we see more people and give ourselves some space. Maybe no vacations for a while.
Readers? Disclose? Keep it to yourself? Is this a good time to reveal feelings?