I don’t want him to let me go

Start the new year by asking your own relationship/dating/love-in-2021 question. Email [email protected] or fill out this easy form.

Dear Meredith,

I have fallen head-over-heels for a co-worker I met last year when I was substitute teaching. I am 29.

I am also a hopeless romantic who dreams of starting something similar to "Dinner with Cupid" because I believe there are good people in every city who want to meet other good people.

Back to this man. He is a little bit older and was not what I wanted on paper, but our chemistry is undeniable. It is truly something I have not experienced in past relationships. After our first outing outside of school, he immediately shot down the idea of us dating, denying his feelings. Well, his feelings began to show and we gave it a go for about a month.

I am 100 percent myself around him. I love that he shows his feelings, we can talk for hours, and I believe in him. Yet, he does not believe in himself. Our last in-person encounter outside of school ended with him abruptly leaving my house. I wound up chasing him down the street. He said he is not ready to accept my love and that I have so much love to give. He told me I need someone consistent. He’s right, but I also feel as though I need him. Did I mention his classroom is right next door to mine? And we work in person?

He hasn't let me go entirely. My hope is that he never does. Do you think he will ever chase me down the street?

– A girl who believes in herself ... but also believes in him

"Do you think he will ever chase me down the street?"

What a question. I don't know the answer, but maybe it shouldn't have to come to that. It's romantic comedy behavior that doesn't look great in real life. It would be nice if you could be in a relationship where there's no chasing because no one is running away.

You believe the "Dinner With Cupid" idea – that there are good people for everyone; they just need to find one another. I'm with you on that ... most days. If you have that philosophy, though, there's no reason for you to be waiting around and pining for someone who's told you he's not capable of giving you what you want. You do hope to be loved with some consistency. Unfortunately, he's not up for that.

The proximity of his classroom might make it seem like he hasn't let you go, but he has. Think about what connection you'd have if you didn't work together. It doesn't sound like there would be anything to preserve at that point.

Be a practical romantic. If he doesn't want this, let yourself move on.

– Meredith

Readers? Should the LW keep this going? Should there ever be a chase (metaphorical, literal, etc.)? Oh – apply to do Dinner With Cupid here.