My boyfriend’s ex looks like me

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Hi Meredith,

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nine months now. Everything is perfect, and he's been so respectful. Recently, I was hanging out with a close friend of mine at a diner. As we were leaving, I bumped into my boyfriend's cousin (female) who was with a friend. While leaving the restaurant, my friend said that the friend who was with his cousin is my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. It didn't bother me because she is a married woman who has a newborn. Although she did marry her husband three to four months after my boyfriend broke up with her. She was cheating with my boyfriend's close friend (who is not the guy she married). What bothered me was that my boyfriend's ex ... looks similar to me. She doesn't look exactly like me, but has similar facial features. Is this normal? Does he just have a type?

– His Type


She doesn't look exactly like you. The end.

If this were some "Parent Trap" situation where you ran into a twin you didn't know you had, and you realized that she was your boyfriend's ex ... well, maybe that would make for an interesting conversation (and television show episode!). But it's not a red flag that his ex resembles you in some ways. Also, we're just talking about the physical stuff here, right? When we think of types, we often jump to the way people look, but really, I see more patterns in how people choose partners based on personality.

This woman might be nothing like you in spirit. In humor. In (dare I say it) love languages. Or maybe she is ... just a little. That's OK.

The point is, she's not you. She's moved on. Please follow her lead and focus on what you have, which is apparently perfect, so good for you.

– Meredith

Readers? Can we talk about types and what it's like to find out your significant other's ex is a bit like you?