I’m a frustrated grandma

Having thoughts about your relationship? Wondering what dating will be like after you're vaccinated? Send your own question to [email protected] or fill out the form.

I am currently living with a lovely and caring man. Not only is he boring and long-winded, but now impotent.

I am shallow enough to want a full-blown relationship. I never thought of being unfaithful, but then, out of the blue, a man I dated seven years ago reconnected with me, and I would love to meet him again for some hot stuff.

Yes, I feel guilty, but somewhat justified and really want to be with him. How do I deal with this impending mini-affair? By the way, I am a grandma and very frustrated, but still have a few morals left.

– Frustrated Grandma

"How do I deal with this impending mini-affair?"

How about this question: What if it was't an affair?

You say your partner is lovely and caring, but it's also clear you'd rather not spend time with him. A boring and long-winded person does not sound fun to be around, especially after a year of isolation. Why do you stay in this relationship? Because you have history? Because it's the routine? I'd like you to consider why it wouldn't be better for both of you to find more appropriate company.

Also, you say you are "currently" living with this man. You make it sound temporary, maybe because you want it to be.

As you consider the state of your actual relationship, see how it feels to reconnect with this other man ... in writing. Remember that the hot stuff in your mind might not be as a hot in person. You have no idea how seven years has changed what you share or what he's seeking by reaching out. I guess my point is that you've already imagined a specific kind of hot, short-term affair, but what if that's not what he wants?

If it is hot stuff, you're going to want more of it. Think about whether your current partner is forever.

– Meredith

Readers? Does this have to be an affair? A mini-affair?