I have two questions. My girlfriend was married for a long time. When I met her, we hit it off. Well, come to find out, she was seeing seven other guys as well. She narrowed that down to three guys – me and two others. After a weekend away, she had decided that she wanted to go with me.
I saw on her phone that she was texting one of the guys she was seeing, and I saw a brief portion of the text that said "sorry to put you in that situation." Not sure what the context of the text was, but since I mentioned it to her, she has treated me like a piece of ... you know. Should I be concerned that she is seeing him again? My second question is, when a girl says she can't go out because she has to do laundry, pay bills, food shopping, etc., is that a sign that she is seeing someone else?
"When a girl says she can't go out because she has to do laundry, pay bills, food shopping, etc., is that a sign that she is seeing someone else?"
People do have to feed themselves! When this woman says, "I must take care of myself as a human," it is very possible she is doing just that. She has a life that must be managed. I do not believe "grocery shopping" is code for "I've got a date."
That said, I have no idea what's happening here. It's not that I think she's cheating or pursuing anything with the seven other runner ups; it does sound like she made a choice and was honest about her process. But you don't trust her and have started to over-examine everything she says. She's now treating you like a piece of something because you've made it clear you're watching her every move. It all sounds pretty unpleasant to me. Is this still a good relationship?
It's great that you hit it off in the beginning, but it doesn't sound like you're getting closer and building the kind of trust you need for the future. If you can't put this behind you and believe what she's telling you, let her go.
Readers? Is it already time to let go? Is there cause for distrust? Would you want to know about the process of narrowing a list of seven candidates?